A compilation of noteworthy
lines heard while dating.

  • "If you ever are hot at my house, just know you can take your shirt off and it's totally fine."

    – Anonymous (Boulder, Colorado)
    2 weeks into a new relationship

  • "In boot camp, they told us humans actually only need 2 hours of sleep to function. You should try it!"

    – Stephanie (Norfolk, Nebraska)
    The first and only date

  • "When we went to brunch at the diner on Sunday, your hair looked so greasy and disgusting that I couldn't finish breakfast. I was embarrassed to be seen with you."

    – Hair Model (Boulder, Colorado)
    3.5 years

  • “I find you being a vegetarian so sexy. I want to eat edamame off your back.”

    – Abby (Lenexa, Kansas)
    Second date

  • "It's not my fault I have a hard time thinking of other people."

    – Anonymous (Portland, Oregon)
    After it had ended but still living together

  • "Pack your bags. Let’s go to Bali."

    – Nancy (St. Petersburg, Florida)
    First date, after he showed up at the wrong place, then said he was addicted to Fentanyl

  • "I'm not obligated to wait for you to get better."

    – K.B. (Edmonton, Canada)
    End of relationship

  • “It’s so weird being on a date with you. I used to gag at the thought of being near you.”

    – Anonymous (Santa Maria, California)
    First date

  • “I don’t mind that you have a kid, but where is he going to live now that we’re dating? I don’t like the thought of you living with another man.”

    – Anonymous (Martinez, California)
    First date and the “other man” was her 2-year-old son

  • “No offense, but aren’t you a bigger girl? Can you even fit into a Honda Fit?”

    – Brae (Chicago, Illinois)
    First time we texted, not very far

  • “You always do this … you start out nice, then you get mean.”

    – K.B. (Denver, Colorado)
    Second date

  • "I really like you. You remind me of my mother."

    – Anonymous (Raleigh, North Carolina)
    3rd date

  • "You know I have been thinking, and I’m not over my ex! "

    – Gina (Oak Forest, IL)
    A week

  • “If those stay, I won’t.”

    – Anonymous (Santa Maria, California)
    4 years, moments after giving birth
    *referring to stretch marks that occurred during pregnancy

  • "Do I still get a blow job for my birthday?"

    – Anonymous (Australia)
    2 weeks after he asked for a divorce

  • "So, after today's health class, I think that I'm mentally abusing you, so I'm sorry about that. I'll try not to."

    – Anonymous (Boulder, Colorado)
    3 months

  • "My ex-wife won’t speak to me anymore. I’m serious. She even changed her phone number. The only thing that would break us up is if she called me and wanted me back. Then I would go."

    – Angela (Raleigh, North Carolina)
    2 years

  • "‘Well then, you’re going to hell."

    – P.G. (Raleigh, North Carolina)
    First date

  • "My coworkers would make fun of me so bad if they saw us together."

    – T. (Nova Scotia, Canada)
    First date

Have a funny, sad or cringeworthy line?
Please share it.